December 2006 in review… (NOTE: GIVEN THE FACT THAT I AM NOT IN THE MOST POSITIVE AND OPTIMISTIC FRAME OF MIND)
Positive:
- learned a lot
- paid a REAL 12 step call to a friend
- made a wonderful friend in the rooms (quickly becoming a best friend)
- turned 6 months clean & sober
- no sex with anyone for a couple months!
- Reached out and asked for help! And shared at meetings…
- Lots of fun and laughs
- Great opportunities to learn to set boundaries and say no and be a good manager and friend… etc…
Negative:
- went through hell with Director of my workplace
- deceived by Interim Director on Training Manager job offer… influenced by a few of core management team at my workplace…
- shortchanged my sobriety by placing work first and it didn’t pay off!!!
- No sex with anyone for over a couple months!
- Grieved lack of parents for the holidays
- Felt sad and abandoned by sisters for holidays
- Frustrated with living paycheck to paycheck
- Frustration for having romantic feelings toward people I shouldn’t be having feelings toward… Thankfully, I have not acted on them. That action states my intention. I am proud of self.
- Frustration for having a sofa that is too big for my studio
- Frustration with having such a messy place!
- Frustration for my apathy and procrastination and sleeping too much without feeling like I am rested!
- Frustration thinking I have acute depression from circumstances around me.
- Frustration for this lengthy period of time where I am in emotional turmoil and pain.
- Saddened and disappointed that I barely have enough for minimal savings let alone any trip to Hawaii or anywhere else… ?
- I tipped 154 lbs and feel every ounce of my overweight body!
YEAR IN REVIEW:
- Dad passing away
- Relapsing
- Still stalling and delaying my stepwork
- Challenges of new manager position that is very very challenging!
- STD scare and legitimate STD dx and tx
- Grieving over the holidays
- Feeling abandoned during holidays
- Challenges in December with abusive Boss at work
- Disappointment of not getting training manager position
- Disappointment of not getting a raise!
- Frustrations with finances… having what I need, but wanting some desires met…
- Losing my commitment on AALA committee
- Putting people at direct risk for being exposed/infected with HIV
- My focus is clearly on the downfalls and sadness and challenges in 2006 vs. seeing the accomplishments…
- Promoted from PCRS Manager to ATS/MWC Program Manager
- Coming back from relapsing and staying
- Being a great manager
- Not beating self up for mistakes made
- Really getting honest with my feelings
- Living life that recovery has given me… and having fun making friends with Aaron and going out and enjoying self…
- Moving to my own place…
These are a few highlights of the past year… I know there are a lot more… Thought I would take a moment and highlight some of them!
Quoc
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