Quoc’s Web Journal

9,097

Hey folks… Just a quick check in before I go to bed…  This weekend was a whole lot better as a result of my getting to decompress by sharing those thoughts feelings and fears with you.  So, I am slowly shifting into gear with some routine in taking care of business and prioritizing my important things to do!  The conclusion truly is that I have more things to do than I have time in the day to complete.  With this being said, all these things that need to be completed are certainly not things that don’t need to be addressed.  THEY DO!  So, what I get to do in reconciling this is really do my best one thing at a time and be ok with it as long as I have made a genuine effort and have willingness followed by action to take care of such things!

So, this whole past week has been about shift in perception!  It’s about being willing to see things for what they are and then be willing to share with another person what my thoughts, feelings and interpretation of the person, place or situation and be open to see and hear it from a different perspective…  I am grateful to have stayed sober these past few weeks to get lots of clarification from what all has transpired in the past week…

Allow me to share the on-goings of just the past weekend… I took time to try out the clips I purchased for my bicycle!  I got to cycle around the park and clip in and out of my bicycle…  Then I decided to take the bicycle for a ride down the road…  1/4 mile down, I noticed the road seemed really really rough…  It turned out that my rear tires had a flat!  DARN!  Upon walking the bicycle that 1/4 mile back home, I visited with the property manager (and her son) of a studio that was for rent.  In visiting with them, I got to scope out the pretty little studio… I mean little!!!  My goodness!!!  I am so grateful for my home and actually how much room I am getting for the amount of money I am paying!  In conversing with these people, the son made a comment about how I am able to be so happy and stay so happy.  Apparently, I leave a very very very very very good first impression with others.  Apparently, I have a good spirit about me and radiate very good energy.  That made me feel good.

This morning (Sunday), my friend picked me up around 7:45A to take us to Santa Monica to join a cycling group in training for the AIDS Lifecycle.  We were to cycle about 30+ miles today…  I was very excited to get to wear my new clothes and try out my new bike equipment.  I was prepared to possibly fall with hopes that I wouldn’t fall.  The ride was beautiful…  It was really really cold in the morning as I rode in my bike shorts and two bike shirts.  Thankfully, as we rode, I warmed up a bit more…  In the course of riding, I started getting accustomed to clipping in and clipping out. 

To make a long story short, I toppled over 3 times in the course of the 30 mile ride…  It was a very very very beautiful ride…  We rode along the coast, then around the whole Marina del Rey, then all around LAX, then just back home…  We rode as a group.  It was very nice… My first fall came when I came to a stop and took my left foot out of the clip, but leaned to the right…  I toppled over and got a little scuffed up…

Then the second fall came when I came to a full stop… Then right when I thought the light turned green, I clipped in to start cycling only to find myself looking at the light turning red again.  As a result of not getting to move forward, I couldn’t clip out fast enough and fell over to the right yet again…  This time, I tried to catch the fall again and bruised my wrist and hurt my elbow trying to catch my fall… To make matters worse, I fell over into a puddle of icky water that was streaming down the sidewalk… To further the afflication, my bicycle chain came off my bike on the fall!  Argh!!!  I got a little bloody right knee and got a good bruise on my lower leg.  Ack!!!  The nice thing is that people stopped to pick me back up, set my chaing back together and offered me first aid where needed…  They also normalized the experience and gave me suggestions on how to prevent another fall… 

I did really good until the last 5 miles of the ride back to Santa Monica…  Right as I pulled to a red light, I stopped and clipped out perfectly…  For whatever reason, my body has a tendency to wanna lean to the right eventhough I am clipping out with my left foot.  The logical thing to do is to lean to the left and allow my left foot to hold me up like a kick stand…  Apparently, I am accustomed to getting off the bike with both feet on the ground and I am unaccustomed to staying leaned to the left when I clip out… I fell over to the right again as I hadn’t unclipped my right foot…  Over I fell unfortunately this time into a lady who had just pulled up to my right alongside me who also hadn’t clipped out yet.  I fell into her which made her topple over!!!  It was terrible!!!  I felt so bad!

Yet again, the fellow bikers not only checked with me but with her to make sure she was ok…  I was given a nickname.. DOMINO!  LOL… That is pretty funny and apt for what I did to that lady… That actually is a pretty good name to keep too… So, now as a ALC cycler, I will be forever in a day renamed DOMINO the crazy gaysian cyclist who has a tendency to knock you over like a domino if you get too near!  Sheesh!

The whole experience was fine… I learned a lot from today’s riding… More over, I am incredibly proud and impressed by my ability to pull off over 32 miles of riding so easily!  Yayee!!!  I come home with a bruised inside of my right palm, a swollen elbow not only from falling on it but from the strain of trying to break my fall… My right knee has a little scab from a fall into the asphalt and my lower right leg is swollen…  Hopefull these will be the last falls I get to experience.  Thankfully, I am in good company of people who shared not only their experience…

I found a little AA moment as I cycled and fell and towards the end of the ride, I asked a lady in front of me to give me advice on techniques and what the best way to fall is… Her answer to me: DON’T FALL; that’ll take care of the problem!  Here is my pessimistic alcoholic head constantly fulfilling the prophecy and assuming and anticipating that I will fall again, when the solution can be very simple: DON’T FALL! 

So as good as my own ideas and thoughts about what the best way to fall is; there is yet another perception and suggestion that the best way to fall gracefully is not to fall at all!  Who would’ve thunk it!  It made me think of how messed up my thinking can sometimes be… Where I am already assuming and prepared for the worst rather than looking forward with the mentality that it won’t happen again and there are tools I can use to prevent a fall…

There are wonderful parallels to this story with AA and relapsing and not relapsing…  The suggestion is not to relapse; however, if one does relapse, then pick oneself up and keep moving along and depend on the kindness and help of those people who are around me who are generously giving of themselves to help a fellow member!  Very cool…

I know tomorrow is going to be hard as I recuperate from a very long ride and from the injuries that I got from all the falls today… I look forward to getting better at this cycling thing as time progresses… I will be in touch with everyone as soon as I set up my website with hopes that you will generously give in support of raising money to find and end to AIDS!!!

Much love and niters,

Quoc

PS – My right elbow is gonna be messed up tomorrow… I can barely move it right now without being squeemish about the pain I have right now bending it… boo!!!!!